Michael J Mallen

IN A BIG career turnaround, Kevin Hart decided to hang up his comedy persona and become a serious actor.

“I’m done with the funny shit,” Kevin told eager reporters at a movie premiere where he was practicing sounding like Sir Laurence Olivier.

He moved his whole family to London where he enrolled at the Royal Academy of Performing Arts. Unfortunately the paparazzi were having a field day and he was mobbed wherever he went.

“This is so messed up,” Kevin told a fellow student, as they ducked into his eight bedroom townhouse in Kensington, waiting for the crowds to disperse.

Back in class the next day, Kevin was rehearsing the lead in Waiting for Godot. He thought to himself, this will get the critics to start taking me seriously. All the students couldn’t suppress their laughter whenever Kevin went inside to channel his ‘inner thespian’.

He picked up on all the disbelievers and haters.

“You clowns don’t know fuck all. I’ve paid my dues but none of you could get arrested.”

The audience thought it was a comedy routine and were in stitches. The more serious he got, the harder they laughed.

Kevin finally called it quits and flew back to Los Angeles. He got together with Dwayne Johnson over drinks at a trendy dive bar where celebrities hung out.

They decided their next movie together would be an over-the-top comedy spy thriller with Kevin as the straight man and Dwayne doing the jokes. Working title: Between A Rock And A Hart Place.